Chapter 36: What the Apocalypse Should Truly Be Like

Minju was timid by nature; she was somewhat afraid of herself, especially when she donned the protective suit and held the baseball bat in her hands. Usually, when Xiao Guang reached out to her, she would obediently come closer. But now, even as Xiao Guang cupped her small face, she showed no sign of happiness. Her brows furrowed, and she looked deeply troubled.

Xiao Guang had rarely seen zombies express such emotion. They were either numb, frenzied, or mostly had vacant stares. But seeing Minju avoid eye contact, he knew this wasn’t fear—she seemed to be in pain.

“Don’t be afraid, Minju. I’m not angry anymore. It was my fault for making you wait so long and not just giving it to you outright. But I... never mind, I’m just overthinking,” Xiao Guang’s voice lowered. Minju’s head twitched slightly, finally willing to meet his gaze.

Looking into those deep blue eyes, Xiao Guang spoke again, “If you don’t like drinking by yourself, I’ll feed you. Come on, don’t be scared.”

He picked up a cup from the floor and placed it in Minju’s hands. She looked at the cup, clutching it tightly to her chest before turning her gaze to another cup that belonged to Pei Zhuyan.

Xiao Guang stood and retrieved the cup meant for Pei Zhuyan, inspecting it before letting out a self-mocking laugh. “Since you brought her back, and you’re not some fool, you’d better take good care of her. Otherwise, don’t bother bringing her here.”

Satisfied with his own reasoning, Xiao Guang took Minju’s arm and led her toward the innermost room.

Pei Zhuyan stood silently, facing the wall, standing very close to it. Watching her quietly cornered there, Xiao Guang was reminded of the first day she arrived at his home and couldn’t help but say, “Come here, I’ll feed you.”

No response came, so Xiao Guang approached and gently turned Pei Zhuyan to face him. She didn’t resist. Those red eyes seemed brighter, though Xiao Guang sensed a deep grievance within.

So her anger wasn’t only directed at him; perhaps she was also angry at herself? Was she lashing out at her own shortcomings?

Xiao Guang was puzzled by these thoughts but brought the cup to Pei Zhuyan’s lips. “Tilt your head back. In this house, the rule is I feed you first, then Minju.”

Pei Zhuyan didn’t tilt her head but stared at Xiao Guang with those red eyes. Eventually, she avoided his hand and instead clung to his chest.

This simple gesture moved Xiao Guang profoundly. Pei Zhuyan embraced him, and just that simple act brought him immense contentment.

Running his fingers through her hair, he thought, We’ve lived like this for a long time. Are you recalling more and more memories? Are you desperate to become normal? You must be so anxious.

Returning to the living room with Pei Zhuyan and Minju, Xiao Guang decided to pour the milk powder directly into their mouths from the basin, no longer using the cups. But Pei Zhuyan stopped him, taking the cup from his hand and biting it.

“Pei Zhuyan, suck it, draw it into your mouth,” Xiao Guang instructed.

Crunch, crunch.

“Not bite, suck,” he corrected.

“Spit it out,” Pei Zhuyan discarded the bitten spout. Seeing Xiao Guang stunned, she placed the cup at her lips, tilted her head back, and the milk powder flowed down smoothly this time.

“Cough,” Pei Zhuyan choked a little, perhaps still unfamiliar with gravity. Xiao Guang quickly straightened the cup, watching the milk disappear inside her mouth, then tilted it again, saying, “Like this, don’t keep tilting.”

With his hand steadying the cup, Pei Zhuyan appeared to understand, holding the cup carefully with both hands.

Xiao Guang glanced at Minju. The spout of her cup was covered with teeth marks but showed no signs of damage.

Minju looked up at him and offered the cup. “Gulp.”

“Minju, you overestimate me—I don’t have teeth like that.”

“Eat.”

“I really can’t eat that. How about you wait for Pei Zhuyan to bite it for you?”

Xiao Guang looked at Pei Zhuyan. She controlled the cup’s angle expertly, the milk slowly flowing into her mouth without any sign of spilling.

“Gulp.”

Seeing this, Minju grew anxious and bumped her cup against Xiao Guang. He looked down, turned, and picked up the basin.

“Maybe I should just pour it directly for you.”

“No.”

This stubborn child, Xiao Guang sighed. After Pei Zhuyan’s outburst earlier, Minju’s tantrum was hardly surprising.

But he truly lacked Pei Zhuyan’s skill to bite the spout cleanly.

He had to unscrew the cup’s lid and took it to the kitchen to cut it with a knife.

Minju drooled, clear saliva gathering at her lips. Seeing her pitiful expression, guarding the uncovered cup and milk basin without moving, Xiao Guang felt truly sorry for her.

While screwing the lid back on, he said, “I’ve always hoped you’d return to your old selves, but now I’m not sure if that’s what I really want. I admit, those were just fantasies. I’m a college student who’s never seen the world; having these thoughts about pretty girls, you should understand.”

He finished capping the cup and handed it to Minju. She knelt down suddenly, holding the cup, opening her mouth, and tilting her head back to drink like Pei Zhuyan. She tilted it wrong, spilling milk into her eyes.

“Gulp.”

“Don’t rush, I’ll help you. Slowly, take your time.”

Helping Minju adjust carefully, he held the cup to control the angle, letting the milk flow gently into her mouth. Xiao Guang continued, “But now that I think about it, I probably misunderstood back then. The image I had in mind wasn’t normal. I thought I’d raise two obedient real children who could talk to me and ease my loneliness, and when I didn’t need them, I could just put them aside.”

Pei Zhuyan’s cup was empty. She shook it, then looked at Xiao Guang. He took the cup, refilled it from the basin, screwed it back on, and handed it to her. Watching Pei Zhuyan carefully bring it to her lips, Xiao Guang smiled.

“I don’t know if you’ll ever return to how you were, or if one day you’ll lose your humanity again. But I suddenly realize that what I’m doing might be worth it. If something really happens, you two might still remember me.”

“Gulp.”

“Don’t rush. There’s plenty of milk powder. If you run out, I’ll make more. Don’t imitate Pei Zhuyan in everything. Look at your face all milky, as if I did something to you.”

Xiao Guang grabbed a napkin from the table to wipe Minju’s face and continued to control the cup’s angle. Minju had trouble swallowing and couldn’t be rushed.

“Some say people die twice: once when their body dies, and once when they’re completely forgotten. I believe you’ll live a long time, which means I will too. Anger is easier to remember than happiness. Pei Zhuyan, do you remember me?”

Hearing his words, Pei Zhuyan put down the cup, looked at Xiao Guang, and fixed him with her red eyes for a few seconds before tilting her head back to drink again.

What is this, anyway? Isn’t this the apocalypse? Why does my life feel like caring for a child with cerebral palsy—a male nurse?

“Eat.”

Minju made a noise again. Xiao Guang looked down, refilled the cup, and continued feeding her.

~~~

Two hands rested on the bellies of two zombie girls—or more precisely, on the stomach areas of two people. Although pressure could be felt through the back of his hands, Xiao Guang frowned.

“From now on, we must set a limit on how much milk you drink at once. Look at you two—Minju playing with a little ball, milk spilling from her mouth. Is that reasonable?”

Pei Zhuyan turned her head toward Xiao Guang and slowly opened her mouth. He saw the white milk powder inside, then she slowly closed her mouth again.

This scene felt both eerie and strangely alluring to Xiao Guang.

What should this apocalypse really look like? Why is my life turning out so bizarre?