Chapter 13: The Change That No One Knew About

Page (1/3)

As long as one lives, regret is inevitable. Regret is the feeling of having done the wrong thing at the right time, or having done something outrageous at the wrong time. There is also an emotion called guilt, which arises from simpler causes—for example, saying the wrong words.

Tossing and turning in bed several times, Xiao Guang angrily sat up.

It was just a tiny bit of guilt, so why was he overthinking it to the point of losing sleep?

Was it that people with morals were doomed to be tormented by their own conscience? The more he thought about it, the more restless he became. Xiao Guang couldn’t help but slap the bed a few times—after all, hadn’t he only said one wrong sentence?

Pei Zhuxuan was watching the animated song battle featuring Hong Beibei, while at that moment Xiao Guang was roughly feeding her. Although Xiao Guang truly meant well for Pei Zhuxuan, when the Pei Zhuxuan on the screen and the Pei Zhuxuan beside him appeared side by side, he immediately stopped what he was doing.

Xiao Guang forgave Pei Zhuxuan for pushing him earlier. Looking at the rice grains messily stuck to the corner of her mouth, he gently wiped them clean. Pei Zhuxuan didn’t react; her eyes were fixed intently on the screen, and even the little ball she liked to play with had fallen to the floor.

“That was the old you. You’re not like that now. Zombies can’t dance.”

It was this sentence that kept Xiao Guang awake deep into the night. What was he thinking at the time, to say something so cruel?

Pei Zhuxuan glanced at him then, her reddened eyes void of emotion, yet Xiao Guang felt sure he had spoken the wrong words and that Pei Zhuxuan must have been very hurt.

Was it really worth feeling guilty for saying the wrong thing to a zombie?

Whether Pei Zhuxuan could understand him was another matter. Hadn’t he done even more absurd things? If Pei Zhuxuan could comprehend his words, that would mean she was conscious. Then how could she have allowed him to undress her and bathe her?

Xiao Guang knew his personality was somewhat awkward; everyone has their awkward moments. This awkwardness was really just a conflict with himself. He got up and left the bedroom, groping his way in the dark to the living room, where sure enough, a figure sat quietly on the sofa.

He quietly approached, first picking up the little ball from the floor and slipping it into Pei Zhuxuan’s hand. Looking at her reddened eyes, he said,

“Actually, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re very beautiful now, truly.”

No response. Xiao Guang scratched his head, tried tugging Pei Zhuxuan gently, but she stubbornly remained seated.

“It’s late. Don’t you like to hide somewhere to sleep? I just saw the blanket in the next bedroom—it’s big enough to cover you completely.”

Still no reply. Xiao Guang couldn’t tell if Pei Zhuxuan understood him, but he knew she could make ‘ah’ sounds, yet she ignored him.

“Alright, sorry. I won’t call you a zombie anymore.”

Still no sound, but Pei Zhuxuan turned her head to glance at Xiao Guang. Their eyes met, then she slowly looked away.

Page (2/3)

Xiao Guang sighed helplessly. His patience was limited. This silent way of coexisting was not his forte. Standing up, he looked at Pei Zhuxuan and thought, “So be it. Whether you’re conscious or not, whether you understand me or not, this is the apocalypse. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you back.”

“Ah~~”

Xiao Guang turned to see Pei Zhuxuan stuffing the ball back into her mouth. She stretched out a hand toward him. What did this mean?

Xiao Guang reached out, placing his hand over hers.

“Ah~~”

Her other hand also reached out. Xiao Guang felt this posture was familiar. He stepped closer, bent slightly, and sure enough, Pei Zhuxuan leaned in. He hadn’t guessed wrong—she wanted a hug.

Holding Pei Zhuxuan, he felt her cool body and pulled her tightly into his arms. She stopped making sounds. After a moment, Xiao Guang decided to carry her.

“I said things I shouldn’t have tonight. Just this once, you can sleep by my side.”

“I’m still scared. You absolutely cannot bite me, understand? Otherwise, no one will take care of you.”

“Do you bite the little ball every day just so you can make sounds?”

No response. Pei Zhuxuan clung to him like a koala hugging a tree branch. Even when Xiao Guang lay down on the bed, she held him tightly.

Pulling the blanket over them, Xiao Guang looked at the bulge beneath it and sighed before closing his eyes.

~~~~

That night, Xiao Guang slept soundly. Perhaps the exhaustion from the day, and the rare hours spent swimming, made him so peaceful he didn’t even dream. Occasionally, he felt an obstruction near his legs and instinctively avoided it or simply straddled it.

His eyes were stuck shut with sleep crust—an uncomfortable feeling. Normally, he’d gently try to open them or moisten them with saliva, but Xiao Guang, as if punishing himself, jerked them open forcefully, surely losing a few eyelashes in the process. Such moments were rare, and he couldn’t help but smile.

The blanket shifted, and Xiao Guang lifted it to see one of his legs resting on Pei Zhuxuan, who was playing with the little ball in the dark.

“Sorry, I really didn’t mean to.”

He suddenly threw back the blanket, looked at the ball in her hand, then recalled the scene from yesterday when she suddenly grabbed him. He was glad he was wearing shorts.

“What a beautiful day—sun shining brightly. It’s just perfect for building our safe haven.”

Page (3/3)

Speaking loudly to the ceiling, Xiao Guang immediately got up to go to the bathroom. Having slept too long, his bladder felt ready to burst. Of course, there was another possibility—absorption.

Neither scenario sounded very pleasant. Aiming at the toilet, he listened to the rushing water. In the apocalypse, did people become shameless? He never used to do this, always worried neighbors might hear and think he was uncouth.

“Oh right, I’ve been feeding you for several days now. Do you need to use the bathroom? Just so you know—you’ll have to clean up after yourself.”

Returning to the living room, he saw Pei Zhuxuan crouched there with her hair disheveled, resembling a ghost. Xiao Guang looked around, then naturally pulled two hair ties from the outside pocket of his backpack. Kneeling beside her, he smoothed her hair and skillfully tied it into a high ponytail.

Speaking as he worked, he buttoned up her open onesie, pinched her chin to examine it, and said,

“Come on, let’s wash your face.”

Holding her head steady while washing her face, she resisted fiercely, constantly trying to lift her head and flailing her hands.

“Alright, alright. How can you be as pretty as a little kitten without washing your face?”

Xiao Guang thought he had begun to understand some zombie habits—like how they actually feared water. When his hand scooped water near her mouth and nose, she noticeably struggled harder.

Still, she didn’t use full strength, so despite some difficulty, Xiao Guang managed to wash her face, then dried it with a towel. Looking at her increasingly pale and tender face, he couldn’t resist giving her a gentle kiss. Pei Zhuxuan’s reddened eyes stared intently at him.

“Why did you jump into the pool back then? Was it because you liked swimming, or wanted to bathe, or because you thought I was in danger?”

As he rubbed her face, he continued talking to himself. Afterwards, he cupped her face and sniffed. Indeed, the moisturizer smelled wonderful. Another kiss.

“I guess it was because you thought I might be in danger and you risked yourself to save me. Alright, I won’t play with you now. I’ll go make something to eat, then check the power in this villa to see what’s going on.”

Patting Pei Zhuxuan’s head, he turned and headed to the kitchen. Pei Zhuxuan, left alone, initially made no move. Just as Xiao Guang was about to enter the kitchen, she slowly turned her head to look in his direction.

If Xiao Guang had stayed, he would have noticed a subtle change in Pei Zhuxuan’s eternally expressionless face—a slight curl at the corner of her mouth, as if smiling, or perhaps smirking.