Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Scoundrel Puppy

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“Ah…” Yu Yue sat on the sofa, sighing as she gnawed on a ration biscuit. “When will we ever get to eat rice again… Sister Yan, I remember you practically cleared out the entire supermarket. How come you only bought ration biscuits?”

For a food lover who cherished both good food and justice, being unable to eat anything delicious was worse than not eating at all.

But her stomach was now so empty that she could no longer endure it. Forced to betray the principles she had always upheld, she stuffed the ration biscuit into her mouth with an utterly defeated expression.

She chewed it with loud, dry crunches, as if she were gnawing on cardboard.

“I only thought ration biscuits would be convenient. Would you rather have some bread?”

That simple question made hope spring into Yu Yue’s eyes. Soft bread was far tastier than ration biscuits.

Of course, bread was usually something she only ate at the end of the month, when she had run out of money.

Guided by the principle of never wasting food, she stuffed the rest of the ration biscuit into her mouth and washed it all down with a gulp of water.

Yu Yue accepted the bread.

She carefully tore open the wrapper, afraid that even the tiniest crumb might fall, then took a solemn bite, as though she were paying respects to some sacred relic.

“Mmm…!”

It was so delicious. It was sweet. How long had it been since she had tasted something sweet? Her sugar-loving soul was about to wither away.

Lin Youwei sat down beside her and nibbled delicately at a ration biscuit.

“Is it really necessary? Once it’s in your stomach, it all ends up the same.”

Yu Yue took another fierce bite of bread, her cheeks puffed out as she said, “Of course it is! It absolutely matters.”

“Weiwei, you have no idea. These past few days have been torture for a food lover like me. I’m practically going mad.”

Watching her reaction, Li Luyan produced a bag of spicy strips from her storage space and shrugged.

“Want some spicy strips? Sweet and spicy.”

Yu Yue snatched them from her hand like a starving wolf pouncing on prey. “Of course! Good grief, I can’t remember how long it’s been since I last had spicy strips.”

Tap—tap—tap—

Something bumped into Yu Yue, and the spicy strips flew from her hand.

“Damn it, my spicy strips!”

She threw herself down and caught the bag just before it hit the floor, but one strip still spilled out.

She stared mournfully at the fallen strip for a long moment. Then she turned sharply and saw the culprit responsible for its demise: that glittering golden chair—Little Bastard.

She grabbed the chair by its backrest and hoisted it up.

“You!”

“Compensate me for my spicy strip!”

Little Bastard kicked all four legs wildly in the air and protested with righteous indignation, “I—I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“I just wanted to see what delicious thing you were all eating!”

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“And besides, who told you to hide good food from me instead of telling me about it?”

“You’re all villains! Villains!”

Yu Yue pinned Little Bastard to the floor and said with a face full of anguish, “You—you—you! You’re a chair. What do you need to eat for?”

“Who’s the villain here?”

Little Bastard argued back, refusing to yield. “I—I—I… What do you mean, ‘I’? Who says I can’t eat?”

As soon as it finished speaking, it vanished beneath Yu Yue’s hands. It transformed into a fly and buzzed away, then became a small yellow mongrel. With one bite, it devoured the entire packet of spicy strips Yu Yue had just opened, including the single strip she had not yet tasted.

“See? I can eat!”

It was the first time in her life that Yu Yue had seen such an infuriating expression on a dog’s face.

“Ugh, it’s attacking my tongue.” Little Bastard had been startled by the spiciness of the strips, and the way it stuck out its tongue looked, in Yu Yue’s eyes, like a deliberate taunt.

Yu Yue seized it by the scruff of its neck and lifted it up. Holding it close to her face, she enunciated every word in fury:

“Little. Bas—tard!”

Little Bastard flailed its limbs twice and drew its head back.

With a dark expression, Li Luyan tossed another packet of spicy strips to Yu Yue. “All right, all right. Stop arguing with it.”

Yu Yue put Little Bastard down and caught the packet. The moment it saw the spicy strips in her hand, Little Bastard’s eyes lit up. It rubbed itself against Yu Yue’s calf like a puppy.

Well, in truth, it had indeed become a puppy.

“I want some too. I want some too.”

A puppy speaking in a human voice was certainly strange—but considering that it had originally been a chair, perhaps it was not so strange after all.

“Shoo, shoo! What do you want to eat? Didn’t you just have some?” Yu Yue nudged Little Bastard away with her foot.

Unwilling to give up, Little Bastard wagged its tail and pressed close again. “Give me a bite, and I’ll tell you a secret.”

It spoke in a mysterious tone, and for one fleeting moment Yu Yue thought she saw a lecherous look on the dog’s face.

Yu Yue narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What secret?”

Little Bastard wagged its tail even more enthusiastically, pawing at the hem of Yu Yue’s trousers. “Give me one bite first, and then I’ll tell you.”

“No!” Yu Yue held the spicy strips high above her head. “Tell me first! You look so shifty. You’re just trying to steal my food again.”

Little Bastard suddenly lowered its voice, its doggy eyes darting from side to side.

“I know… the color of Li Luyan’s underwear is…”

Smack!

A perfectly aimed chop landed on the top of Little Bastard’s head. Li Luyan stood behind it with a black expression.

“Are you looking to die?”

Little Bastard immediately tucked its tail between its legs and hid behind Yu Yue, muttering through its dog’s mouth, “Barbarian… Big bad villain, big bad villain…”

“What did you say?” Li Luyan’s expression darkened.

“Nothing, nothing! I said Sister Yan is wise, mighty, and number one beneath the heavens!”

Little Bastard instantly changed its tune and crawled obsequiously to Li Luyan’s feet.

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Yu Yue laughed so hard she nearly fell backward.

Lin Youwei suddenly set down her ration biscuit and looked thoughtful. “Wait… Since it can transform, can it turn into kitchen equipment too?”

Little Bastard’s ears immediately stood straight up. “Of course! I am a creation of the gods!” it declared proudly, wagging its tail.

Three pairs of eyes lit up at once.

“Then…” Yu Yue swallowed. “Can you turn into a rice cooker?”

Little Bastard proudly raised its doggy head. “That’s a piece of cake!”

The next second, golden light flashed, and a… gaudy, diamond-encrusted rice cooker appeared on the floor.

“This…” The corner of Yu Yue’s mouth twitched as she stared at it, speechless. “Can’t you make it a little more modest?”

Bang!

A cloud of white mist swept past.

All the diamonds on the rice cooker suddenly vanished, leaving behind an ordinary white appliance.

“Rice! Sister Yan, do we have rice?” Yu Yue leaped excitedly to her feet.

Li Luyan took out a bag of rice from her storage space. Little Bastard returned to its puppy form, seized the bag in its mouth, and ran toward the kitchen.

Ten minutes later—

Ding!

The rice cooker chimed pleasantly.

Under the expectant gaze of everyone present, Little Bastard turned back into a puppy and pressed the lid-release button with its paw.

At once, the fragrant aroma of freshly cooked rice filled the entire room.

Yu Yue’s eyes brimmed with tears of excitement.

“Damn… Rice. Good grief, rice!”

“Sister Yan, hurry and give me some konjac strips to go with it!”

Unable to wait another moment, she served herself a bowl and began devouring it.

Little Bastard wagged its tail smugly. “Well? Aren’t I impressive?”

“Very impressive! Very impressive!” Yu Yue replied indistinctly, her mouth stuffed with rice.

Li Luyan suddenly narrowed her eyes. “Wait… What kind of energy did you use to cook the rice?”

Little Bastard’s tail abruptly went rigid.

“Haha… Well…”