Chapter 83: Kinship in Name, Recalling Days of Brilliance and Desolation

In the dim light of early morning, as the first drumbeat announcing the dawn rumbled through the city, the drums atop the towers of Luoyang began to sound in succession. Soon after, the bells of the temples chimed, and for a moment, it was as if the entire Eastern Capital had been roused from a deep slumber. The gates of the wards gradually opened, and the city gates in all four directions—east, south, west, and north—slowly parted as well, welcoming a new day in the midst of the harsh winter.

As the guards at Jianchun Gate opened the portal, they saw, besides the usual few townsfolk entering to sell vegetables or firewood, five or six horses, their nostrils flaring as they snorted clouds of white breath. The riders, bundled in thick fur robes and hoods, had frost clinging to their hairlines, clear evidence they had ridden through the night to wait for the gates to open. The guards were momentarily stunned; not only is night travel treacherous in winter, but even in summer, few would risk such a journey—should one encounter bandits, there would be no one left to tell the tale.

The lead guard stepped forward for a routine inspection. Seeing the token bearing the name of the Cui family, he immediately stepped aside to let them pass. The group wasted no words, spurring their horses through. Only after they had hurried past did the other guards approach.

"Who would risk life and limb like that?"

"They're from the Cui family of Yongfeng Lane... I hear the Grand Matron of the Cui family is gravely ill..."

Though Cui Jianxuan had always resented the city’s law forbidding galloping within the capitals, never had he hated the rule more than now. Had Du Shiyi not insisted on taking his reins upon entering the city, he would have dashed home at breakneck speed. When, burning with anxiety, he finally turned into Yongfeng Lane and saw the black-lacquered gates of his house, he could think of nothing else—he spurred his horse in a wild rush to the main entrance, dismounted in a rolling leap, and stormed inside. Still wearing his hood, the gatekeeper did not recognize him at first. Only as he darted past did the man shout in alarm, "Who are you, barging in here—?"

"Don’t shout, that’s Eleventh Young Master Cui!"

Du Shiyi, arriving a step behind, saw Cui Jianxuan’s figure already disappearing. Remembering he was a guest here, he stopped and gave the gatekeeper a word of explanation. The man immediately understood. At that moment, the Cui family’s messenger and Tian Mo caught up, and the messenger, seeing Du Shiyi hesitate, hurriedly said, "Young Master Du is no outsider—please, come in with us."

Knowing the household must be in chaos and unlikely to attend to someone merely accompanying Cui Jianxuan home, Du Shiyi had planned to find an inn and wait. But since the messenger insisted, he nodded and handed his reins to Tian Mo. Skirting the main hall and heading toward the inner gate, he was met by Madam Fu, whom he had seen on a previous visit, accompanied by two maids. She greeted him with visible agitation before hastily bowing and saying, "Thank you, Young Master Du, for accompanying the Eleventh Young Master home without regard for day or night. The Eleventh Young Master has gone to see the Grand Matron, and the Thirteenth Miss is there as well. Please, come with me."

Madam Fu’s face was sallow, her features haggard from long vigils; her eyes were red and swollen with tears. Du Shiyi realized at once that the situation of Lady Du De, the Grand Matron and Dowager of Qi, must be dire indeed. Still, he was surprised that, even at such a time, Madam Fu would bring him to see her. Though puzzled, he nodded and followed. On his last visit, he had noticed maids casting furtive glances his way, but now, everyone hurried about with lowered heads, stepping aside and quietly dabbing at tears as they greeted him.

"The Grand Matron is gentle to all; even when servants make grave errors, she seldom chastises them harshly. Now that her illness is so severe, the whole household grieves deeply." At the entrance to the Grand Matron’s chamber, Madam Fu spoke in a low voice, her eyes reddening again. After a moment, she drew a deep breath, lifted the heavy felt curtain, and whispered, "Please, go in, Young Master Du. Though the Grand Matron’s own family was once illustrious, she has had little contact with them in recent years; all her siblings are gone. With this sudden relapse, no one from Chang’an has arrived yet. Among those of the Du surname, you are the first to come. Even the two masters have not returned."

Du Shiyi now understood why Madam Fu had been so agitated at the sight of him. Entering, he took off his cloak and hood, handed them to a maid, washed his face and hands in a copper basin, and made his way toward the east chamber. Before he could enter, the sound of weeping reached his ears. Glancing at Madam Fu, who had turned deathly pale, he hurried inside. There, before a low couch, Cui Jianxuan knelt with his back to the room; beside him, a young girl lay across the couch, sobbing bitterly. Around them stood old and young, men and women alike, all with sorrow written on their faces—among them was the Thirteenth Miss Du.

Had he truly come too late?

As he mourned in silence, a woman’s stern voice suddenly cut through the sobs: "Ninth Sister, enough! Our grandmother was a heroine among women, who single-handedly upheld the Cui family through countless storms. She is not yet gone, and even if she were, such displays of grief are unworthy!"

Du Shiyi finally saw Cui Fifth Lady, dressed in a lotus-colored gown, her hair and person devoid of any ornament. At her rebuke, the girl beside Cui Jianxuan stifled her sobs, though low sniffling could still be heard. Du Shiyi felt acutely out of place, an outsider in this scene. Yet, at that awkward moment, Cui Fifth Lady glanced his way. Surprise and joy flashed across her face; she crouched beside the couch and whispered into the ear of the Grand Matron.

"Du... Is it Nineteenth Young Master Du?"

In the silence, broken only by the muffled sobs of Ninth Miss Cui, the weak voice seemed especially piercing. Du Shiyi hesitated no longer, quickly stepping forward. Cui Jianxuan shifted right to make room for him. He knelt by the couch, and found Lady Du De’s face—so pale compared to when he had last seen her—her chest heaving, eyes dull and nearly lifeless. He called out to her softly, habitually taking her pulse; the faint beat was so fragile it seemed it might vanish at any moment. He could not help but furrow his brow.

"Never thought... I’d ever see a member of the Du family again." A sudden brightness flickered in Du De’s failing eyes as she gazed at him, lost in thought. After a long moment, she sighed. "When I left home to marry, Twelfth Brother was just your age... so like you... so like..."

Though she spoke of resemblance and family, Du Shiyi saw her wandering gaze and knew she must be recalling loved ones long gone. Madam Fu had already mentioned that this Grand Matron, once so exalted, had no siblings left in the world. He did not interrupt her reverie, remaining silent until she spoke again, her voice lowered.

"In those days, the Emperor was ill and Empress Wu held power. The great clans lived in constant peril. Twelfth Brother had just entered officialdom, but his youthful recklessness led him into disaster. The Du family did all they could, and only managed to spare his life, exiling him to Lingnan. He never returned, and I never saw him again..."

Recalling these sorrows, her voice grew even lower. "He must have blamed me for not helping as his elder sister should, but the Cui family was itself in peril. I had just given birth to Tai and Qing, and was carrying E in my womb. Even when Fourth Brother nearly petitioned with his colleagues, I stopped him... Empress Wu was suspicious by nature. If she suspected the great families of collusion, who knows how many might be exterminated... Later, when I sent for him, he refused to see us. Before Fourth Brother could plead for his pardon, he was gone... Of all my siblings, only I survived—because I could endure..."

Listening to these tales, which could not possibly be meant for an outsider, Du Shiyi felt weighed down with sorrow. He glanced at Cui Jianxuan and Ninth Miss Cui, seeing their shock and knowing this was the first they had heard of it. The others in the room wore much the same expressions; only Fifth Lady Cui kept her gaze lowered, her face betraying nothing. At a signal from her, Madam Fu stepped forward and politely asked everyone but Cui Jianxuan and Ninth Miss Cui to leave. Only Fifth Lady Cui and Cui Chengxun, Cui Qi, and Thirteenth Miss Du remained; she glanced at Du Shiyi, then lowered her head.

"Times change, fate is fickle. Fourth Brother was always patient and thus trusted, rising to be Chancellor, but in the third year of Yongchun, he passed away suddenly. Then Empress Wu seized the throne, the two Zhangs ran rampant. Tai, as a minor official in the Ministry of War, was of little standing. I thought my life would be spent enduring—but to my surprise, Tai confided in me that he would join Zhang Jianzhong and Huan Yan Fan to eliminate traitors. I saw the fleeting chance and gave my silent consent. By luck, they succeeded. I, a timid woman for decades, was ennobled as Lady of Qinghe for my son's merit.

But I never imagined how soon chaos would return. Commoner Wei seized power, and though Tai was a hero, he was demoted to Sima of Zizhou. E, then Sima of Shangzhou, was even bolder—he slipped back to Luoyang and told me he was set on avenging the state and acting for the survival of the realm, like Zhang Liang and Baoxu... And the most timid of all agreed to his plan. Even Wang Ling’s mother could make sacrifices—how could I do less? Because of that decision, E and his confidants slipped back to Chang’an, helped the late emperor and our present sovereign quell Wei’s rebellion, and he was made Duke of Zhao. I was then ennobled as Lady of Qi. But what I owed the Du family, I could only ask Tai and E to look after the Du kin as best they could..."

After this lengthy reminiscence, Lady Du De paused for a long time. When she finally recovered her breath, she spoke slowly: "Remember, if a matter is urgent, do not act rashly. Rashness brings impulse; impulse breeds disaster. If something cannot be done, do not force it. But if fate is irresistible, then no matter the peril, you must go forward!"

Word by word, she delivered her admonition, then turned with difficulty to look at Du Shiyi, closing her eyes at last. No one knew how much time passed before he heard her murmur, "Fifth Daughter, have your father and Fourth Uncle returned yet?"

Fifth Lady Cui quickly shook her head, offering a few gentle words of comfort, but in her eyes was a newfound and profound unease.