Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Parrot Captain

Once, being a bard was a noble profession. Though they lacked might or magical prowess, bards were widely traveled and possessed vast knowledge. Many people across the continent would spend their lives in their hometowns, never venturing beyond, growing old and dying where they were born. Only the bards could open their eyes to the world, let them know of the past, and imagine the future. People naturally respected those who knew so much more than themselves. Every bard had to pass a rigorous review by the central guild and was awarded an official bard’s badge.

Unfortunately, all this was several years ago. At some point, bards began to proliferate, their skills varied, their standards slipped, and their integrity crumbled. Kevin was by no means a flawless man; he too would tell a bawdy joke now and then. But no matter what, inciting two factions to fight was never a bard’s business.

Regrettably, the central guild found it difficult to regulate this, and the laws had their loopholes. Everyone has a mouth; who could say what was truth and what was not? Ultimately, it depended on each bard’s own moral compass.

After letting loose a barb, Kevin sighed and returned to his place in the line. Regardless of the outcome, the atmosphere had shifted; many people were murmuring among themselves. There was no way a few words could make the two mercenary companies lay down their arms and reconcile, but with things as they were, a brawl was no longer so likely either.

Though the female dwarf and the man with twin axes still faced off, this was, after all, the territory of the Purple Gold Company. Even if the dwarf bested the axeman, it would surely provoke the wrath of the others, plunging the situation further into chaos. And all this just to prove someone from the Dream Requiem Mercenaries could split a gold brick with one stroke? Absurd.

Still, they needed a way out, or everyone would lose face. Kevin immediately stepped between them and addressed the dwarf: “Greetings. We’re here to accept this mission. Since your Dream Requiem Mercenaries have taken it in the past, we’d like to consult you on some of the details.”

The dwarf cast a sidelong glance at the Purple Gold Company’s people but nodded. “Come with me, then.”

The moment she tried to leave, the Purple Gold crowd burst into jeers. “Hey! Leaving so soon?” “Weren’t you going to take us all on?” “Running away already?”…

The dwarf stopped and gripped her sword. Kevin, exasperated, could only urge, “Let’s stay calm and focus on the mission.”

With a cold snort, the dwarf finally stormed off amid the laughter and mockery. Kevin called to his teammates to follow. They looked to their officer, who signaled for them to obey Kevin’s lead, so the group followed after. Sain’s face showed clear reluctance, but with the officer present, he said nothing.

They followed the dwarf to the Dream Requiem Mercenaries’ branch—a modest place, not much larger than a butcher’s stall at the market. For a mercenary company only three hundred strong, even having a branch was respectable.

The dwarf casually found a few stone stools outside and sat, gesturing for them to do likewise. “I still think I could have handled things back there myself, but thank you for diffusing the situation.”

No one replied; all eyes went to the officer, who in turn looked at Kevin. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Kevin was surprised. “Sir? Should I be the one asking?” The mission was still officially the officer’s responsibility, after all.

“I’m here to assist on the side. If you run into trouble, I’ll help, but otherwise, you handle things yourselves,” said Marcus, issuing his orders. “Kevin, you’re acting captain. The rest of you, follow his commands. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Several voices were less than enthusiastic, but they had no choice but to comply.

Kevin rubbed his forehead. To be honest, the pressure of command was far greater than being a regular soldier. But it was too late to back down now. “May I ask your name?”

“Rock. My name is Rock Rock,” the dwarf replied.

“What a curious name,” Kevin laughed. “Did you come here just to rock?”

The dwarf burst out laughing. “A lot of people say that!”

“Kevin!” Sain suddenly interjected. “The officer made you captain, not so you could flirt.”

Kevin paused, a little irritated, but held his tongue and turned to the matter at hand. “Miss Rock, about the mission—what’s the specific nature of the task?”

Miss Rock grew solemn. “Let me explain. At the time, it was an elderly professor and his four students, and we assigned fifteen guards for their protection. We set out with twenty people in total.”

“Our mission was to observe the ecology of large beasts or magical creatures in the Venomous Forest—not just to spy on their mating, as some think. The professor even brought some paintings—explicit ones of gorillas mating. Apparently, he wanted to see whether showing them to the real animals would provoke a reaction.” Rock’s expression was earnest.

Everyone: “…”

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, you’re making me embarrassed,” Rock scratched her head.

“Ahem. So why did the mission ultimately fail?” Kevin steered the conversation back.

“In the end, there were just too many people,” Rock spread her hands. “Once inside, we hardly saw any large animals at all. We tried breaking into smaller groups, but the professor refused—he insisted on staying with his students. We couldn’t reduce the numbers further or we’d risk their safety.”

“We all spent the day lying in mud, waiting in silence. By the time we returned, we stank so badly flies and mosquitoes swarmed us, and we were covered in bites. No amount of repellent helped,” Rock recounted. “In the end, we saw a gorilla pass by, but that was all—no results at all.”

The group exchanged glances. No wonder the mission had been left unclaimed for three months—this was not a job for mortals.

Rock went on, “A couple of high-ranking mercenaries could have kept them safe, but the pay wasn’t enough to hire them. And this job is filthy. If it was just slaying a beast, maybe. Ever since, no mercenary has been willing to take it on—it’s been sitting there ever since.”

“Kevin!” Marcus suddenly called out.

“Sir!” Kevin leapt to his feet by reflex.

“I’m granting you full authority,” Marcus said. “You’re in charge of this operation. I won’t be coming along.”

Everyone’s faces darkened. Was the officer abandoning them at the last minute? But no one dared voice it.

“Are you confident?” Marcus demanded.

“Yes, sir!” Kevin answered automatically.

Marcus clapped his hands, then whistled skyward. From above, a parrot swooped down, flapped its wings powerfully, and landed neatly on Marcus’s arm.

“This is our army’s scouting parrot, deployed by the mage corps. Every garrison has them on patrol,” the officer explained, showing the bird to everyone. “You just clap and whistle, and it’ll come to you. Summon it each night and report your activities. I’ll know everything.”

“Yes, sir!” The rookies all stood at attention.

Marcus addressed the parrot, “Patrol around these recruits. If anything happens, report to me at once.”

“Yes, sir!” The parrot raised its right wing in a salute. The recruits were amazed—none had ever seen the like before.

“Off you go!” Marcus raised his arm, and the parrot launched into the sky. He waved to the group. “Good luck, all of you.”

“Goodbye, sir!” The recruits saluted until he was out of sight. Only then did they let out a collective sigh and sit down again.

Suddenly came a flapping overhead; the parrot landed squarely on Kevin’s shoulder, drawing startled looks. Kevin asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?”

“Taking a break,” the parrot replied, glancing at him coolly.

Everyone: “…”

Miss Rock was also impressed. “I’ve heard there have been some reforms in the army, but I didn’t realize things had come so far.”

Everyone agreed it was their first time seeing such a thing. Kevin couldn’t help but keep glancing at the bird on his shoulder, but it was impossible to discern its expression. The parrot promptly cuffed the back of his head with a wing. “Get to work! Why are you staring at me?”

Kevin’s face darkened. He now understood that rookies truly had no dignity—a bird could scold him, and it clearly treated the officer and him very differently.

“Ahem!” Kevin composed himself. “All right… It’s about time for lunch, isn’t it?”

Oka suddenly spoke up, “We don’t get out often—why not go home for a bit? The teleportation point’s quick, and we’ve got a week’s leave.” After nearly three months away, everyone missed home.

Kevin glanced at the parrot on his shoulder; the parrot turned to stare at Oka, who broke into a sweat. So the parrot was really the officer’s spy.

“I’ll report your request to the officer this evening,” Kevin said officially. “The parrot-officer will relay the message. If the officer approves, I’ll have no objections.”

“No, no,” Oka quickly backtracked. “Whatever you say goes.”

Miss Rock stood up. “Looks like I’m not needed anymore? I’ll be off, then?”

“Wait,” Kevin stopped her. “Please, Miss Rock, stay with us a bit longer. We’re all new to this, and we could use your guidance. Would you join us for lunch?”

“All right,” Miss Rock sat back down.

Statdart quickly scribbled a note and handed it to Kevin: “Say you’re sending me out to scout, and I’ll sneak home.”

Kevin read it, then noticed the parrot reading over his shoulder as well. After a moment’s silence, the parrot spoke: “Did you think I can’t read?”

Everyone: “…”

“Ahem!” Kevin crumpled the note. “Let’s eat.”

They found a random tavern, ordered a few dishes, and gnawed on bread in silence. As rookies, they were used to eating without chatter, so the meal was rather glum. Kevin kept glancing at the parrot, but of course, it was impossible to read a bird’s expressions.

Nearby, some patrons eyed the bird curiously. One even asked, “What a beautiful parrot! Where’d you buy it?”

“You can’t buy one,” Kevin replied. It was true—he’d never heard of such an intelligent bird in his ten years of wandering. Only in tales did they exist.

“So where did you get it?” the man pressed.

“It’s not mine,” Kevin answered helplessly.

The man: “…”

After the meal, Kevin wondered if he should feed the parrot and asked the bartender, “Do you have any parrot feed?”

“No,” the bartender replied, “but we’ve got chicken feed.”

“Shut your mouth!” squawked the parrot, leaping upright. “I don’t need you to feed me! And you’d dare offer me chicken feed? That’s an insult to my birdly dignity!”

“All right, all right,” Kevin quickly tried to appease it. “Let’s get to work.” Under the astonished gazes of the tavern, Kevin was chased out by a scolding bird.

They had barely gone a few steps outside when the parrot suddenly flew off without a word. The group exchanged nervous glances. “Is it reporting to the officer?”

“Never mind that. Let’s get moving!” Kevin tried to steady their nerves. “Let’s head to the Royal Academy to find the professor.”

“I won’t be joining you, then,” said Rock. “Thanks for the meal. If you ever need a hand, I’ll help if I can.”

“Thank you,” Kevin nodded. “But I’ve always wondered—back at the mercenary guild, since that’s Purple Gold territory, why did you go there alone?”

Rock gave an awkward smile. “I got lost and just picked a place at random. Heh.”

“Oh,” Kevin laughed. “Then, until we meet again.”

The dwarf waved casually and disappeared into the crowd.

Sain remarked, “She must be a high-ranking mercenary, probably at least a fifth-rank warrior. Better than any of us.”

Kevin nodded. After their training, he could more or less gauge someone’s strength from their movements. If she really got lost wandering into rival turf, she wouldn’t have survived this long.

“Let’s go,” Kevin said, turning—only to spot a man sitting by the street, a book resting on his knees. The title was “Chronicles of Assassins.”

The man looked up, met Kevin’s gaze, and smiled, then picked up the book and drifted off into the shadows. Kevin felt a bead of sweat on his brow. The man clearly wanted to summon him, but he was obviously an assassin. This…

After a moment’s thought, Kevin decided to ignore it. No one else had noticed, so they continued straight to the teleportation point and were instantly transported to the capital of the Kingdom of Lobore—North City.

The royal capital lay in the north-central part of the kingdom, and the Royal Academy was located within it, established by royal patronage. The academy offered not only magic and martial arts, but also mathematics, history, art, architecture, alchemy—over thirty disciplines, the kingdom’s highest institution.

The academy accepted both noble and gifted commoner students. Those who graduated had all their expenses covered by the crown. But in truth, graduation was difficult. Fewer than twenty commoners managed it each year—sometimes none at all. Even among the nobility, only around a hundred graduated annually.

Kevin had once dreamed of such a place. His father was said to have studied at the Royal Academy, though he never graduated, only earning a certificate of completion. Because tuition was expensive, his father became a teacher himself, and Kevin’s early education had all come from him. His father often reminisced about the academy, and Kevin could only listen with envy.

Leaving the teleportation point, they took a carriage to the academy gates. The entrance was carved from white marble—impressive, yet not ostentatious. Many robed figures came and went, all true scholars and true experts—the backbone of the kingdom’s next generation, and the center of its technological innovation.

Tap-tap! The parrot swooped down from who knew where, perching on Kevin’s shoulder. Some female students nearby squealed, “What a cute parrot! Where did you buy it?”

Everyone: “…”

They ignored the question, and no one dared ask where the parrot-officer had been wandering. They went to the gate and explained their purpose.

Moments later, an old man emerged from the campus, nodding to them. “You’re here for the mission?”

Kevin saw him and was stunned. “The vice-chancellor?”

“That’s me,” the man nodded.

Kevin turned to his group in disbelief. “This is Professor Rook, vice-chancellor of the Royal Academy—the world-renowned Father of Male Impotence! The notice just said ‘professor,’ I had no idea it was someone of his stature!”

The others stared at the old man in astonishment.

Rook: “…”

“Ahem,” Kevin read the mood. “Does the vice-chancellor dislike that title?”

Rook smiled. “I have other achievements, but never mind. Come in, stay the night, and we’ll depart tomorrow.”