Chapter 39: Stink Bomb

Fang Yuqing cherished her sofa, yet she was repulsed by Zhou Peng, who was drenched in urine. After all, Zhou Peng had been standing at the door and had taken the brunt of the splash. She immediately barked at him, ordering him not to sit on the couch.

Zhou Peng felt deeply wronged. He had only gone to cause trouble for Zhang Yi because of Fang Yuqing’s instructions. Now, drenched in urine, shivering from the cold, and nursing his own injuries, he was being treated this way by her! However, a simp is, after all, a simp. Upon reflection, Zhou Peng decided that Fang Yuqing was right to scold him. He had failed to carry out her task properly and was now filthy; how could he dare to soil the sofa of his goddess? The more he thought about it, the less he felt he deserved to be angry. He quickly stood up and apologized, "I'm sorry, Yuqing, it's all my fault. Please, don't be angry!"

Eager to change their clothes, Fang Yuqing and Lin Caining waved him away. "Get out of here immediately. We need to change." Zhou Peng did not dare to object and hurried out of Fang Yuqing’s home.

Back in their room, the two women quickly stripped off the clothes splashed with Zhang Yi’s urine. Yet, even after changing, the pungent stench lingered. The liquid hadn't just soaked their clothes; it had coated their hair and skin, even trickling down their necks. In this freezing weather, taking a shower was tantamount to suicide; they dared not risk it. They were forced to endure the nausea. Having failed in their mission and ended up soaked in urine, their hatred for Zhang Yi grew even deeper.

"What do we do? Zhang Yi is too cunning; he's impossible to handle!"
"Damn it, no matter what, I will seize his house!"
"We need to think of a better plan. I don't believe he has no weaknesses!"

Just as the two women were plotting against him, Zhang Yi sent a message to Fang Yuqing: "That was just urine. Next time, I’ll douse you in excrement! (✺ω✺)"

In truth, Zhang Yi had been rushed this time. Had he prepared in advance, he would have treated them to a bucket of feces. Fang Yuqing and Lin Caining’s faces turned green; the mere thought of being covered in waste made them wish they were dead. Zhang Yi closed the chat, ignoring their incoming messages. Though he had muted the notifications, the counter for unread messages climbed rapidly. He didn't need to look to know they weren't pleasantries. He turned his attention to the residents' group chat and stumbled upon a spectacle.

Ever since her home was looted by Chen Zhenghao, Old Lady Lin’s mental state seemed to have deteriorated. She was flooding the group with voice messages, demanding that everyone turn over their supplies to her.

"I am the director of the neighborhood committee! Who dares to disobey me? Once the snow melts, I’ll have you all arrested!"
"Did you hear me? Answer me! You must deliver your food to my house today!"

But this time, few people paid her any mind. Over the past dozen days, everyone had realized the reality of the situation. The authorities could not look after every individual, and Old Lady Lin’s so-called committee was worth less than nothing. She couldn't intimidate anyone; instead, she was met with a barrage of mockery.

"You damned old hag, why don't you just hurry up and die?"
"I haven't even settled the score with you for tricking us out of a box of instant noodles!"

Someone brought up the beginning of the disaster. "If you hadn't told everyone it was nothing and discouraged us from stockpiling, we wouldn't be in this position today!"

The mention of this ignited the collective rage of the group. When the snow first fell, though it was cold, some had intended to go out and shop. But Old Lady Lin had insisted in the group chat that the blizzard would pass quickly and threatened that anyone hoarding supplies would be punished, so no one had dared to go out. By the time they realized the truth, the heavy snow had sealed all the roads. If not for her, they could have stockpiled at least half a month's worth of food.

"Damn you, you old witch, look at what you've done!"
"It's all your fault, you bringer of disaster!"

The neighbors cursed her relentlessly. Meanwhile, the rich kid Xu Hao appeared in the chat. "I am buying supplies at a high price, food or drink. I’ll pay 10,000 for a pack of instant noodles and 5,000 for a bottle of mineral water!"

The price of noodles had reached ten thousand. Xu Hao was truly desperate; if he didn't spend his money now, it would become nothing more than waste paper. Zhang Yi shook his head. "Look at the situation we're in, and he's still trying to buy things with money."

No sooner had Zhang Yi thought this than someone jumped at the offer. "I have some food at home; I can sell it to you."

Zhang Yi was speechless. It seemed that no matter the circumstances, there would always be people greedy enough to risk their lives for money. Even with the slimmest of hopes, some were still gambling that the disaster wouldn't last. But only Zhang Yi knew that this blizzard would continue for an incredibly long time. And even after the snow stopped, the world would require a very long time to recover.

Money was worth less than waste paper—at least waste paper could be used to wipe one's rear. A mischievous thought suddenly crossed Zhang Yi’s mind. His warehouse was filled with an inexhaustible supply of toilet paper, but his neighbors likely lacked such luxuries. Once their paper ran out, what would they use? He shook his head again. "They can barely feed themselves; I doubt they have much to excrete anyway!"

This, however, signaled that the current fragile peace was about to shatter. Zhang Yi knew what kind of terrifying beasts humans would become once the food was completely gone.

The next day, Fang Yuqing and Lin Caining returned to Zhang Yi’s door, begging him to let them in and claiming they were freezing to death. Zhang Yi ignored them completely. Freezing to death? That was exactly what he wanted to see. Seeing no response, they pleaded that, for the sake of their past relationship, he should at least give them some food. Through his surveillance camera, Zhang Yi saw they had come carrying umbrellas. It seemed being doused in urine yesterday had left them with psychological trauma.

However, Zhang Yi wasn't foolish enough to open the door. If he guessed correctly, they were hiding knives, ready to kill him and seize his home and supplies. Zhang Yi thought for a moment and opened his interdimensional space. The warehouse was filled with miscellaneous items he had collected on a whim, which he had never found a use for. Since the space was large enough, he hadn't worried about the clutter. Now, they finally had a purpose.

He pulled two stink bombs from the toy section. These were for pranks; when ignited, they released a revolting, pungent odor that was notoriously difficult to wash off, even with soap and detergent. Listening to the voices of Fang Yuqing and Lin Caining outside, he chuckled, grabbed the stink bombs, and walked toward the door.